a little bit of everything and a whole lot of film

31 Oct 2015

Saturday Sessions | 05

Do forgive me if I won't write a proper intro to this. For some reason, I am feeling very melancholic tonight. All coherent thoughts escape me at the moment - all I have is this longing - for what, I do not really know.

Reading. A lot of different lifestyle and travel blogs. I am especially loving the ones that are set in a country where they are currently experiencing the beginning of autumn. Why oh why am I in a desert?

Writing. I have been writing in my journal again. Just thoughts, feelings, musings. A couple of lists thrown here and there. Lists of what, you ask? 

Wouldn't you like to know? 

Listening. Come Back When you can by Barcelona. Indie rock. Didn't I say I was feeling melancholic tonight? I did? I did.

Thinking. May all my wishes come true/ All I want is all I need/ Give me love/ Why do I hate/ Why so fucking angry all the time/ Scared/ Hold me/ Run away/Escape.

Yes. All my thoughts in a (very large) nutshell.

Smelling. The rose scented Jurlique Love balm I slathered all over my flaky lips. Taste it too actually.

Wishing. I were living in a country that had all four seasons. Where I could wear fluffy socks with bunny ears,  live in flannel jammies and drink hot cocoa by a fireplace. Where the leaves change colors and are strewn like confetti all over the ground and everything is sunset hued. Where being outside wakes you up and makes you feel like your nose is about to fall off and all you can think about is going back inside, to the warmth, under the fuzzy blankies and all you want is to snuggle with someone you love as you both listen to the raindrops on the roof with medium overspill on the gutters. #selfie (Comment if you get what I mean by the hashtag.)

Hoping. That things will be better. Please make it better. Please make it good.

Wearing. A Forever 21 black and white polka dot sundress that I've turned into a housedress. A ghetto bandage (tissue and masking tape - I really need to put together a first aid kit for my house) on my right foot as I've sliced a huge chunk off my big toe shaving. I didn't realize such a small cut could produce SO MUCH BLOOD. I almost passed out.

Loving. My new Instax SP-1 instant photo printer. LOVE.

Wanting. What seems to always be out of reach for me. 

Needing. Peace. 

Feeling. A little scared - Another plane has crashed today. A little angry - just one big fuckyou will you? Very melancholic - such a bittersweet feeling, this melancholia - I am in another place, in another time; in the past and in the future, all at the same time.


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